| | So last week we passed the 5-month departure date of our little girl, Felicity. The last month has definitely been the hardest for me since she died. I think for awhile we were in perpetual motion--a funeral, a trip to Wisconsin to process, Orison's birthday, Thanksgiving, out of town for six weeks which included Christmas & New Year's, more visits with friends--and then the events that were kind of stringing us along ended. And as we arrived home, the finality of everything really started to hit me, and I was (am?) in a very deep pit.
And on the night before her five-month mark, I found out that a dear friend I've known since middle school was murdered in her apartment in Michigan. I had gone to school with her all the way through college, and in college we were involved in a lot of the same activities through the Navigators. She caught my bouquet at our wedding. I hadn't seen her since then, which means it's been over 4 years, but losing touch doesn't always mean losing affections for someone, you know? I have been feeling so deeply sad for her family, not knowing how you even come into this with a card or something equally trite-feeling. And I don't mean that getting cards feels trite to the person receiving, because I definitely didn't feel that way when receiving cards about Felicity, it's more on the giving end. I mean, their beautiful, lovely daughter was just murdered. She was an M.B.A. with a good job, a good education, a good family..... It's so unbelievable to me, how much more so for them?
When I think about sin most of the time, I think I feel like, "Oh, this or that sin is not that bad--not as bad as others," and brush it off, especially my own. But then when I hear about something like this, I think, "I can't believe that anyone could be so sick, demented, twisted, that they can murder another person so brutally and just walk away and live their normal life, hoping they never get caught." But Jesus doesn't see it that way at all. He said that if anyone hates his brother, he's a murderer. Do I harbor bitter feelings against people? Do I sometimes hate people? Then I'm no better than this person who committed this terrible crime. I am just as needy of God's forgiveness through Christ as he is. So while I hope and pray that this person who took the life of my friend will be caught and brought to justice quickly, I don't want to minimize my own sin. I don't want to think, "No, I'm okay, because I've never done that." I really want to fight for God's standard, loving my enemies and praying for those who persecute me or others.
Most of all, I'm just really sad when I think about Lindsay, knowing she's not on this earth anymore to make people laugh, help them when they need help, and just be the joyful person that she was. She will be dearly missed by so many.
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| | Posted 2/25/2008 9:03 AM - 356 Views - 8 eProps - 5 comments
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